Above and Beyond at Vicki Se's

I know this blog has become more about things that amuse me than anything else lately, but this was just too funny not to share.

I made a little trip to Victoria's Secret today to do some bra shopping, and no, it was not solely spurred by my lovely daughter's comments last week. Only partially. Anyway, as most of you know as soon as you walk in the door there's an associate there to greet you and offer help. I told her my mission, and she offered to measure me, for starters. After getting my measurements she told me about their new efficient system for helping me find the perfect bra. I would proceed to the dressing room where I would tell the attendant my size. She would give me a box with all of their most popular styles in my size. The attendant would wait outside and bring me new sizes if I required them. Sounded great to me. My helpful little sales associate even called back to the fitting room to notify them that I was on my way.

So, I arrive, tell the lady my size, and she unlocks a dressing room where she enters first. I assume she's just letting me in and was a little suprised when she stayed inside, closed the door of my tiny dressing room, and asked, "Now what exactly are you looking for in a bra today?"

Let me pause for a moment. For effect you will need to read everything she says in Selma Hayak's accent, if you will. That's exactly who she sounded like, and it's just not as funny if you don't "hear" the accent.

Okay, so, I tell her what I'm looking for and she explains that first she wants me to try what she thinks is the best bra that they have to offer. "It is my all time favorite. I wear it myself." She then proceeds to hike her shirt up to her neck and with Vannah White type motions, gestures toward her breasts and describes all of the features of the bra. "You will see that it gives the full coverage, no bulging out, it has a very effective underwire, and the straps are padded so it doesn't leave your shoulders all read and irritated." (Don't forget: you're hearing this all in Selma Hayak's voice.)

This is the good part. With shirt still hiked, she begins jumping up and down! "You will notice as I bounce that I am not spilling out anywhere and the bra holds me nicely in place." She then transitions from jumping up and down to bending over as far as she can bend. "Also notice how they stay nicely in place when I bend over. Once again, no spilling out. This is wonderful for me because I've had 3 kids and they are: whoa!" (She indicates just how low they actually go.)
"I will get you your bras and you will push the button to let me know if you need another size. Okay?"

To tell you the truth, it took all I had to keep from busting out laughing during this whole presentation. She was very helpful, but the fact is, I'm stuck in this tiny room with a woman bouncing her boobs in my face and all the while she's staying very serious and focused on her job. It felt a little confusing. There was seriously the atmosphere of a doctor's appointment but with a touch of stripper.

"Sounds great," I reply, and she leaves to retrieve my box of bras.

In the end, I did end up buying what she suggested and was appreciative of her help. The whole thing was just not what I ever would have expected. That's a girl who goes way above and beyond the call of duty.